Sudden weight of snow
by disturbed.melancholy
Summary: Memories define who you are. When you lose your memories, you lose yourself. Yuki knows this better then anyone. All people want is for her to remember her past, so why doesn't she?


Sudden weight of snow  
Act one  
**_Meet Yuki_**

**¦·¦·¦·¦**

Here are something's I know:

My name is Yuki Tanaka. I'm 18 years old and I had a twin brother. My mother, brother and I were very close. They often called me their 'little treasure'. Apparently my father died shortly after our birth.

My brother died 2 years ago and I can't remember anything before that. I am told that I witnessed it and my brain repressed everything because it was simply to painful.

I don't really know. All I know is that I am not that Yuki anymore. I don't have her memories and I don't act like her. That's what my mother tells me anyways. I am just an impostor in her daughter's skin.

My therapist has recently decided to try hypnosis. I am kind of scared. What if it works? Does that mean I will be replaced with the girl who was here 2 years ago? I would never tell my mother this though. Hypnosis is her only hope left.

The thing I hate the most is when people come up to me and say they knew me when we were kids. I don't remember them obviously, so it is really awkward. For some reason though, I am oddly attracted to people who knew my brother. Maybe it is because I don't really remember him and I love it when they tell me stories about him.

My biggest fear is that I will forget again. Does it mean that I will become another Yuki if I do?

**¦·¦·¦·¦**

"So Kurama, you're paying right?" Yusuke asks as the waitress sets the check down on the table. Right now everyone is getting ready to leave _Lost times. _It is the new and trendy café that had recently opened. Everyone includes Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara and Keiko.

"Yes Yusuke, I am paying." Kurama replied.

"You know you can't go back on what you said after you see how much the bill is right?" Yusuke asks Kurama.

"Yusuke, that's rude. You should at least pay for your own lunch." Keiko said and Yusuke looked at her in shock.

"But Kurama already said he would pay!" Yusuke replied, he sounded like a whining child. Keiko sighed.

"So? Shuichi always pays for both you and Kuwabara. Why don't you pay for you and I this time?"

"Why do I have to pay for you?" He asked in confusion. Keiko slapped his arm hard.

"Because I'm your girlfriend!" She said irritably. Yusuke grins sheepishly and exchanges a look with Keiko.

"Fine, I will pay for both of us." He said and started to look for his wallet. After about 5 minutes of searching he figures out that he doesn't have it. He grins at Kurama.

"I don't have my wallet." He says and Keiko rolls her eyes. She looks apologetically at Kurama who just smiles back at her.

"That's ok Yusuke, I really have no problem paying." Kurama said as he grabbed his wallet. Kuwabara patted Kurama's arm.

"I'll pay you back." He said. Kurama nodded his head and threw some money down on the table. Everyone stood up and got their stuff together.

"So when do we have to meet Botan and Shizuru at the movie theatre?" Kuwabara asked as they left the café. Kurama looked at his watch.

"In 30 minutes." He replied.

"What should we do until then?" Keiko asked. Kuwabara shrugged his shoulders and Yusuke grinned.

"Doesn't the movie theatre have an arcade?" He asks and Kuwabara nodded his head enthusiastically. Keiko was just about to respond when someone bumped into her shoulder, which caused her to slam into Yusuke.

"Hey!" Yusuke said to the person, who kept walking.

"Hey! Apologize to my girlfriend." The person stopped walking and turned around. She wasn't ugly, but not breath taking either. Her black hair was tied into a messy bun. Her skin was very pale, and she looked fragile. The only thing that really stood out about her were her eyes. They were a dark blue and vacant looking. She slowly looked from side to side and then pointed to herself.

"Who me?" She asked slowly. Yusuke angrily ran his hand through his hair.

"Yes, obviously. You shouldn't just run into people like that." He replied. She nodded her head slowly, as if she was considering something important.

"Ok, I'm sorry.. 'girlfriend'." She said and grins at him. Yusuke stares at her for awhile as she awkwardly shifts from foot to foot.

"Well.. I'm sorry for running into you, I will be going now." She says and starts to back away.

"I know you!" Yusuke said and pointed at her. She looked at him in bemusement.

"Yes, your Yuki. We use to be friends!" He exclaimed. She slowly takes another step back and raises her arms defensively.

"Listen.. Whoever you are. I don't know if you are lacking medication, or overdosing on it. But I have never seen you before in my life." She replied and Yusuke laughed.

"You're still the kidder I see." Yusuke said and took a step forward.

"Don't you remember her Keiko. I know she looks different, I mean back then she had glasses and always had her hair in pigtails, but this is little Yuki." Keiko tilted her head to the side.

"Oh yes, I can see it now! Remember how we use to go to the library all the time Yuki?" Keiko asked as Yusuke takes another step closer to her. Yuki looked from Keiko to Yusuke and back again. While watching her do this, Kurama was reminded of a scared animal. Yuki's hand slowly reached into her bag.

"We should go to the arcade like old times!" Yuki pulled a can out of her bag.

"Leave me alone!" She cried out and pepper sprayed Yusuke in the eyes. She quickly turned around and ran as if the devil was on her heals.

"Why you do that?" Yusuke screamed. Keiko ran to him and put her hand on his back.

"Yusuke, what Yuki's last name?" Kurama asked. He faintly heard 'Tanaka'. Kurama's eyes widen slightly.

"So she is Yuki Tanaka?" He asks and Keiko nodded her head.

"Do you know her Shuichi?" Keiko asks Kurama.

"No, but I knew her twin brother." He replied.

"Well, as cool as it is that we both know someone, my eyes are on fire. Kuwabara, quickly rip my eyes out." Yusuke said and Kuwabara got a disgusted look on his face.

"But I don't want to!"

**¦·¦·¦·¦**

"Hello Yuki, today I thought we would discuss hypnosis." Dr. Saito, Yuki's therapist said. Yuki nodded her head as she sat down on the couch across from him.

"Is there any questions you have?" He asked. Yuki shook her head and he smiled kindly at her.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know what will happen. It will probably put a lot of strain on you emotionally." Yuki smiled sadly.

"That's ok. I have to do this." Dr. Saito shook his head.

"Because of your mother right? She is the real reason why you are doing this." Yuki looked down at her feet and stayed silent.

"You shouldn't do this unless you want to. For once do something because _you_ want to." Yuki slowly raised her head and looked Dr. Saito in the eye.

"This will make her happy, getting her little girl back. So it will make me happy to see her smile." Yuki replied. Dr. Saito sighed heavily.

"Ok, so anything interesting happen today?" He asked out of routine. Yuki shrugged her shoulders.

"Not really." Yuki said and Dr. Saito laughed. Yuki never had a none interesting day.

"Oh, then why were you so late getting to your appointment with me?" He asked.

"Well on the way here I pepper sprayed some guy." She said nonchalantly.

"What? Did he do something to you?" Yuki shrugged her shoulders again and looked out the window disinterestedly.

"He forced himself upon me." Dr. Saito normally would have called the police immediately if it was a different patient of his. He had been helping Yuki for about a year and a half now, and he had a good grasp on how her mind worked.

"What happened?" He asked and Yuki lazily looked away from the window.

"Oh, you know. He said he knew me when we were kids. Apparently we were friends or something." Dr. Saito scribbled something down on her chart.

"Did you recognize him?" He asked calmly.

"No. If I did, I wouldn't have pepper sprayed him." Dr. Saito sighed.

"From now on, please don't pepper spray people. Also, don't say someone forced themselves upon you, you give people the wrong idea." Yuki sighed, but didn't reply.

"Yuki, I am going to say something to you, not as your therapist, but as someone who cares about you." Yuki nodded her head and leaned a little closer to her doctor.

"Living for someone else happiness is unfulfilling. You can't control your mother, so don't take on the responsibility of your mother's happiness. Only she can make herself happy."

**¦·¦·¦·¦**

I keep her from being happy. Me not being the real Yuki. It's true, I am just some impostor living in Yuki's world. How can I make decisions for myself? All my decisions must be decided according to my mother's happiness.

It's the least I can do.

**¦·¦·¦·¦**

Yuki opened her front door. Her house was nice, but not cozy. It didn't scream home or anything like that. This is the house she had lived in all her life. It doesn't feel real though. It wasn't her home anymore. It was the 'real' Yuki's.

"Yuki?" A woman called out from the shadows. Yuki put her shoes in the closet.

"Yes mother?" Yuki replied and her mother stepped out of the shadows.

"What took you so long?" She asked in a depressing voice.

"Sorry mother, the session ran longer then expected." Yuki replied quietly. He mother nodded her head. Nozomi Tanaka was the definition of a broken woman. She was pale and sickly looking. Her eyes had dark circled underneath them and she looked broken.

"Are you my Yuki now?" She asked. It broke Yuki's heart when she heard her mother say this. Part of her wanted to be the old Yuki but another part of her screamed 'Aren't I enough?'.

"No mother. I'm sorry." Yuki whispered. Nozomi's face twisted into disgust. She turned around and walked to her room.

"Don't call me mother if your not my daughter."

**¦·¦·¦·¦**


End file.
